?uestlove’s famous stories (OKP forum thread)

First, let me give credit where credit is due.  DJ01 of ML fame posted this thread earlier and I happened to stumble upon earlier this afternoon when I took a sick day.  A great find!  How great?  That I’ve been reading it for 3 hours now.  Basically, earlier this month Questo invites the Okayplayer heads to post any celebrity’s name and he’ll explain his brush of fame with them.  Imagine the Fat Joe on Juan Epstein episode times a hundred thousand trillion.  After the jump are my faves.  Here is the link for the whole thread.  I warn you now, it will take up your evening or afternoon like the time you popped in Malcolm X and realized how late it was when it ended.

Questlove on Madonna:

no personal stories for they have been industry events. but i can type as an observer on some vicarious shit…..

we stopped voodoo sessions early one so D could sing happy birthday (he wound up doing half hour worth of songs….she melted on “knocks me off my feet”) plain and simple she was gonna give him the ass….

my man d.

i was like “why are we back in this studio?…you know and i know where you should be right now:….

he was like “dog i aint no one’s puppet. she fucked with tupac for a month to get some cred and when she got what she wanted she was out….and aint letting no woman puppetize me for her gain…..sides….i aint trying to run the wrath of 2 million black women just cause that’s famous pussy…..plus she aint got no ass….”

Questlove on Will Smith:

will provided me with two of the most amzingest stories of my career.

y2k at the white house.

and

the last january week of 06 in his crib.

my boy says you can judge the level of success someone has in hollywood by the amount of seconds it takes you to get from the gate of the entry to the actual house.

while doing 20mph it took 35 seconds.

imma just do the point system.

drove through the jurassic park gates
passed 3 city blocks. with 15 brownstone per block.
–yes a REAL neighborhood.
was told they fly family out there for reunions and stuff. makes it easier.
so even to live in his BROWNSTONE is a life achievement…let alone HIS crib
he has a stadium in which he does sunday Bball games with his boys/crew
(yes a real stadium with referees and a scoreboard bleachers, lockerooms and concession stands)
you step in the house and you notice the floor is MADE OF BUTTER LEATHER
the whole time im asking him “are we allowed to…step on this?”
his housekeeper gives you orange juice only to realize its 3 days old. and it MUST BE FRESH SQUEEZED.

you joke (what you got a grove and workers in the backyard?) only for jada to open the door to reveal a grove and workers in the back yard.

the spice rack and its fungshui’d color coordination is so impressive and big you yourself say this is a life goal for you wanna reach….

not have this spice rack.

just live here.

in this room

IN THE SPICE RACK!

but that aint it!

see the thing about other hollywood mansions are people come with this mentality sorta like chris rock explained: you always got one bag packed like you know you gonna be thrown out anyday now —or you have this idea that you “might” go broke.

but not will smith.

he says he waited 7 years to make his dream spot. and even then he regrets the largeness of it cause how in the world can his kids be grounded growing up in literally the best built house in california?

i mean it is.

i asked him how do other cribs rate….like i know white people dont like or are as concerned as “shinning” as we are. so thus whereas maybe a megamillionare like steve jobs or even bill gates might have a nice sound system in his house….he aint gonna have the swagger to ball all out and make a nightclub built by the top university for deaf students in which the speakers/woofers vibrate on the floor….thus FORCING YOU to dance….so based on the black celeb ballin factor—ball players dont really got “taste” and just get tacky shit (i can verify this), and aint no black actor in the top bracket to really go all out and ball. and jada actually has taste so will only gives props to his only inspiration in the world of balling ass cribs: eddie murphy.

naturally i asked “what about MJ?”

will laughed and said mike cheats: “anyone can build disneyland….i mean if i was a big kid and wanted a house full of every videogame and trinket then perhaps…..but as far as build and structure (EVERYTHING is hand made so it feels like bedrock) Will wins.

his movie theater? this SHIZZZZNIT
he even has a “ghetto kitchen” built like the set of good times (they have 80% of their meals in there….and once you sit in there for about 20 mins you really do think you are in a “regular” spot.

his studio is nicer than most

his gym is nicer than most

his art collection

his lagoon/pool

all that shit sons anything beyond your wildest dreams….but this was the kicker that had me on some martin lawrence-seeing-eddies-bubble hill crib for the first time (mar started turning into a girl saying “ummm eddie can’t you play more of your music? whuuuusup whuuusup whusssup with you?”) was:

will: hey check this out (*grabs remote….presses a button….*then talks all normal like he aint about to change your life in less than 40 secs) yeah im really glad you like this house…alot of this art was handcrafted in africa when (35 seconds) i shot ali……even ali himself did this piece right here….

?: wow he is an artist (20 secs) too?

will: actually he was doodling on the table place napkins and i (15 secs) told him im taking this home to hang up….jada’s mom has a balcony overlooking the living room on some queen of the castle shit…and over here…..ahmir?…..james?…..ahm (5…4…3….)

?: james?………….(*still standing in the SAME spot where the living room USED TO BE*)…..james…..will…..um…….where did the walls just disappear to?…..and why are we suddenly outside?….how in blue hell did the walls just vanish like that and now we are friggin outside?

BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN!!!!!!!

Questlove on Nas

you know….the weird thing about nas—i mean it could be kelis who is a fan of ours….but nas JUST started his fandom for us.

i mean he was the prototype of just a first glance and conclusion of “them niggas corny” and go on about his day….

meanwhile if he had just took 30 mins out he’d realize we are his biggest champion.

actually alot of the class of 92 cats are just coming around. bitter? perhaps….im like “wow raekwon if you had just answered our phone call in 96 im certain you woulda tore this SHIT outta “no alibi” but nawww…you took a glance and dismissed us.

my phone rings OFF THE HOOK with the cats i wanted to validate me and let play reindeer games with back in the spring of my career.

while watching us soundcheck at radio city nas was kicking himself for being wrong about us for 10 years….when he heard us freak “verbal intercourse”—my god he was jaw dropped. DAMNIT GHOST!!!—

now that there is a drought in “real hip hop” im everyone’s hero for managing to survive in this environment—but there was a time in which shit like this happened ALL THE TIME pre TFA.

aug 98-

electric lady.
i walk into electric lady coming from waverly diner across the street. bag of food in hand
i walk inside and walk downstairs.
nas is talking to the receptionist and hands me a $20
grabs my bag and says “its cool…keep the change”

i thought he was joking so i let 15 secs go by but he kept walking to studio b.

me and the receptionist were laughing and i thought…well maybe i should keep this 20 cause this story is too funny…

but i was starving…

and then i thought about it…and my ego kicked in…

how does this nigga not know im not the delivery boy from the diner and not questlove??!?!??

i mean for god sake he bitched to the source the HARDEST when we got a higher rating than It Was Written….so i KNOW he has to know….

i ran like “yo!!!!! i thought you were playing….that is my food yo..i thought you were joking”

“naaaaah….i….thought you were the delivery boy…”

*hands bag back*

*me and the receptionist were like “this nigga must be high as hell”*

there are 2 $20 dollar bills i have on my wall at home.

one from Prince–he tipped me jokingly for being funky

the other from Nas….i never gave him that $20 back

Questlove on Charlie Murphy

not many of you know this but about 2 months after the show ended. writer neal brennen (he was the white guy who was partners with dave and in some of the skits—r kelly’s trail and when the show was given to wayne brady) developed a new show based on the same chapelle characters. shit was funny as hell.

it was called Charlie Vs Donell

the basic premise of the show was part “the amazing race” / part celebrity fit club/part the weakest link.

this was the plot.

team murphy and team rawlings would challenge each other for a new mission.
for the pilot team murphy (uncle ray ray, fruity, and 2 other murphs) and team rawlings (his brother and cousins) would scavenger hunt clues from the show’s host mtv’s sway.

the mission for the pilot was charl and don had to go to the apple store opening on the 5th ave and take a garage band class for 4 hours.

they then had to make 5 beats that they would shop to rappers.

then as a bonus they are instructed to make a dis record to each other (this was 2005 so dissing was really in) they were allowed to have a professional guide with them (i forget which rappers were chosen)

then there was ANOTHER bonus in which they were given $5000 to make a dis video that they had to direct and edit on their new macbooks. they can only use objects purchased with the budget (call this the Dogma95 ghetto challenge)

the funniest part was the warehouse in which they had to decide on C grade video hoes (stannnk!), vs Cristal Bottles, vs Rims, vs A grade video hoes, vs a 15 min Bentley rental, vs a 15 min penthouse rental…

i swear keeping this pilot on my computer was one of the HARDEST shits ever. i couldnt show brainchild…..sheeeeit i couldn’t even show the roots.

but man. the shit charlie came up with (he lost the first round) woulda been a pop culture mainstay and woulda elevated him to mega star level.

so when all was said and done they had charlie and donnell present the final products for the jury which consisted of just blaze, me, memph bleek, and rodney jerkins. we voted on video presentation, rhyme skills, and other categories.

once the winner is decided (in this case donnell) he is awarded 10,000 cash on the spot. but before he takes the cash he is given the option for

the keeping it wheel spin.

sway spins a game show wheel similar to wheel of fortune with a whole bunch of fear factoresque consequences separated by cash prizes. if the disgusting challenges are met (half gallon raw pork pickle juice milkshakes) then the 10k turns into 20k.

that is where the comedy really starts.

neal had amazing plans for the show including the genius show finale which woulda been a test of wills: both charlie and donnell would be thrown into a rikers island hole with neither side knowing when the other cries uncle and whoever can last the longest wins 100k.

comedy central rejected the pilot.

: (

Go to the FULL thread to hear about Com at Dilla’s funeral, him and Alicia Keys’ love?, beef with Kanye, and his interaction with Robert DeNiro.