Thrillist B-Real interview

this is the way all interviews should be…

T: The Chronic, or Dr. Dre’s The Chronic?

B: Dr. Dre’s The Chronic. Most chronic that’s called chronic is actually sh**ty weed, but they call it the chronic anyways. At least I know with Dr. Dre’s The Chronic I’m getting quality.



T: Venice Beach or the Getty Center?

B: Venice Beach. The people make Venice Beach what they are – they’re loose and cool and laid back, but they’re very gangster. You can not f**k around with those people. I don’t know about getting in the water or nothing like that though.


T: Venice Beach, or the buffet at Crazy Girls?

B: Well, s**t, I’d have to give up Venice Beach and go to Crazy Girls. For the buffet!


T: Would you rather eat a Dodger Dog, or a bowl of Canter’s matzo ball soup at Dodger Stadium?

B: I can’t see myself eating matzo ball soup at a Dodger game, so I’m going to have to go with the Dodger Dog. What if you’re sitting there eating your soup, and the f**king ball gets cracked at you and it lands in your piping hot soup, and it blasts all over you? That’d be a buzzkill.


T: Killing a man, or killing an alien who’s taken over a man’s body and fooled even his wife, despite his proficient in-bed athleticism?

B: Killing that motherfu**ing alien, ’cause who knows when he’s gonna take my place? We’ll have none of that.


T: Triangles or Circles?

B: Hmm. I’d say circles. A circle is a cipher. You pass a joint in a cipher and it always comes back.


T: Finding out Shaq is having an affair with your girlfriend, or finding out Shaq has absolutely no interest in having an affair with your girlfriend?

B: I think that’s an easy one, man: finding out Shaq has absolutely no interest in having sex with your girlfriend. Who wants to picture Shaq smashing on his girlfriend?


T: Sasha Grey or Jenna Jameson?

B: I’d have to go with Sasha Grey. I don’t like what Jenna’s done to her face. She was really beautiful, and now it’s borderline strange.


T: Sasha Grey or Ron Jeremy?

B: Ron Jeremy. He’s a good friend of mine. I’ll smoke out with Ron Jeremy!


T: But he’s so hairy!

B: I wouldn’t be doing anything with him other than smoking joints. As long as he doesn’t get his hairy ass on the joint, it’s all good.


T: Hot lesbians, or girls that occasionally kiss other girls because they’re feeling sexy?

B: Girls that occasionally kiss other girls because they’re feeling sexy. With the girls that you feel like they’re doing it to be sexy, you might have a chance with them, with the hot lesbians all you get to do is watch. Who wants that?


T: Hugs or Drugs?

B: Hugs. I don’t do drugs.


- Thrillist.com